Sioux Falls

Shenanigan's Tonight

A very late and short invitation to Drinking Liberally tonight. The magic word tonight and for some time to come is OBAMA! OBAMA! OBAMA! Oh my God! What a great speach.

It is time to get involved. It is time to right the ship of state and set it in the right direction.

And I couldn't help but notice the other guy, John McCain, the maverick wunderkind of US Naval Acadamy (Cadet 894 out of 899), the candidate of the geriactic set, the patron saint of golf carts, the guy with the house problem, has decided to forgo any serious interest in public policy and instead use his candidacy as a dating opportunity. The Governor of Alaska? . . . .Really? I couldn't find anthing about her academic background in Wikipedia but there was a large segment on her as a Beauty Queen and a Christian. Good God, John! Those christian girls can be tough and hold out for commitment.. . . . But then again if you strike a God-like pose, you might get lucky. But John, remember Cindy and all of those houses. She may be getting older, but she has all that money.

I hope to see you at Shenanigan's. And bring a friend.

Since progressives believe in giving everyone a shot of the good life, we do not want our name to mislead anyone. We drink conservatively from 5:00- 5:08, moderately from 5:09-5:18, and liberally from 5:19 to whenever. And, of course, as the Beer and Alcohol Companies encourage, we always drink responsibly.
Location: Shenanigan's Pub in the Empire Mall in Sioux Falls.
When: 5:00 Next Friday, August 15th, Until: Whenever (But if you stay for Karaoke, you've stayed too long.)
Hosts: Sheldon Osborn 376-6852, Barry "The Man" Foster 728-1445, Eileen VanSoest, Diane Bryan, and Lance Moran.

To the special ones.

We all think we are special. Our mothers told us so. But, as we go through life, events sometimes make us question our mother's judgment. Some people become more sympathic to others because of these events. Others just become Republicans.

Tonight at Drinking Liberally, as a tribute to John McCain, the Republican candidate for President, we drink to gated communities, country clubs, million dollar vacation homes, and to those who inhabit them. We drink to you, the base of the Republican Party. We want to understand your problems. We want to empathise with you. You have the perfect candidate to present your point of view.

Except for tonight, it is time to stop talking and start working. Our local candidates need your help getting to know your friends and neighbors. The Tim Johnson and Stephanie Herseth-Sandlin campaigns need your help contacting voters and making sure they vote. The Democratic Party needs help organizing to help elect candidates who have the concerns of ordinary people in mind as they govern. It is time to make a difference, except for tonight.

Tonight it is time for Drinking Liberally.

I hope to see you there, Shenanigan's. And bring a friend. We can help you get connected.

Since progressives believe in giving everyone a shot of the good life, we do not want our name to mislead anyone. We drink conservatively from 5:00- 5:08, moderately from 5:09-5:18, and liberally from 5:19 to whenever. And, of course, as the Beer and Alcohol Companies encourage, we always drink responsibly.
Location: Shenanigan's Pub in the Empire Mall in Sioux Falls.
When: 5:00 Next Friday, August 15th, Until: Whenever (But if you stay for Karaoke, you've stayed too long.)
Hosts: Sheldon Osborn 376-6852, Barry "The Man" Foster 728-1445, Eileen VanSoest, Diane Bryan, and Lance Moran.

Drinkin Liberally Tonight, Shenanigans.

As common as negative political ads have become in recent years, John McCain has taken negative campaigning to a new level and built his entire political strategy on negative attacks against Barack Obama. Except for a few platitudes, rather than present us with a vision of the future and tell us where he wants to lead the country, John McCain has made his campaign all about our fear of those not like us, whether they live among us or overseas . Fear is a powerful emotion. McCain has increased his lead among white men ( I am willing to admit woman are smarter then men (White men anyway) ) and reduced Obama's overall lead by running ads with young white women randomly associated with Obama and laced with subliminal images of phallic symbols ( a subtle racist attack ) and, more directly, with young white women declaring Obama as "hot". McCain also has an Ad which titles Obama as "The One" which, as David Gergan, a Son of the South, explained on Meet the Press, refers to the code in the South for an "uppity" black person ( to put it politely).

A candidate used to pay a penalty for this type of campaign ( and McCain still may ) but much of the Press and the public seem so used to the negativity of the Republican Smear Machine they view these attacks as sport, evaluating each one on its affect, rather than its truthfulness and propriety, and refusing to condemn them for what they are. Most people do not see themselves as racist and if this strategy is pointed out to them for what it is, ( not by the candidate himself but by others ( like ourselves )) I believe most will recognize McCain's appeal to racism for what it is and reject him.

But, I may be wrong and as despicable as these tactic are they may work. It is the Great Unknown of this election. And, if they do, unfortunately for all of us, it promises more of the same but worse. Which reminds me of one of the corollaries of Murphy's Law, " Just when you think things can't get any worse, they will." So let's do our part. Let's talk to our friends and have the courage to confront the racism which threatens to be let loose in this campaign.

But first lets Drink on it. To Murphy's Law. May we expose its fallacies.

I hope to see you tonight. At Drinking Liberally.

Since progressives believe in giving everyone a shot of the good life, we do not want our name to mislead anyone. We drink conservatively from 5:00- 5:08, moderately from 5:09-5:18, and liberally from 5:19 to whenever. And, of course, as the Beer and Alcohol Companies encourage, we always drink responsibly.
Location: Shenanigan's Pub in the Empire Mall in Sioux Falls.
When: 5:00 Next Friday, August 15th, Until: Whenever (But if you stay for Karaoke, you've stayed too long.)
Hosts: Sheldon Osborn 376-6852, Barry "The Man" Foster 728-1445, Eileen VanSoest, Diane Bryan, and Lance Moran.

If you liked George Bush, you will love McCain.

The Republican Party, the Party of corruption and character assassinations, the party of obfuscation and misdirection, the party of voter suppression and election manipulation, the party of the Military-Industrial Complex, corporate Board Rooms, County Club crowds, and people of exclusivity and entitlement everywhere, together with its Presidential Candidate, John McCain, the son of an Admiral, the wearer of $500.00 shoes, the owner of six houses scattered around the country, a member of one of the richest families in Arizona and a regular user of his wife's corporate jet (he earmarked a special exemption in the campaign finance laws so he would be unfettered by the rules limiting other contributions) ask you to believe John McCain is just an ordinary guy, while the Progessive candidate, the Democratic Candidate, Barack Obama, the son of a divorced mom from Kansas, the public school student who went to college with the help of scholarships, student loans, and work study, who worked as a community organizer for very little, and who climbed up the hard way using his God given talent and good judgement is too exclusive to empathise with us. It just goes to show you how little Republicans respect the average voter. Despite the adage of one of their founders, Republicans seem to believe you can " ...fool all of the people all of the time ..." .

The truth is Obama supports taxes cuts for the middle class while McCain wants to give corportations and the wealthy Billions in Tax relief. The truth is Obama supported full funding for the health care and education of our veterans, while McCain fought against adequate financing for our troops after they have served us. The hyocracy is apparent in the smerk on John McCain's face after he tells a joke or offers his wife up as eye candy for a Beauty contest. His hypocracy is complete. It is absolute. It is Bush-like. It is Republican.

Oh! And Drinking Liberally will be at Shenanigan's tonight. The Beer Tent at the Sioux Empire Fair seemed like a good idea for awhile because for some God unknown reason I volunteered to serve at the Democratic booth at the Fair at our meeting time but I decided you can get along without me. Have a great time. And raise a glass for me. I will be having a beer at the Fair.

Keep the Faith.

Since progressives believe in giving everyone a shot of the good life, we do not want our name to mislead anyone. We drink conservatively from 5:00- 5:08, moderately from 5:09-5:18, and liberally from 5:19 to whenever. And, of course, as the Beer and Alcohol Companies encourage, we always drink responsibly.
Location: Shenanigan's Pub in the Empire Mall in Sioux Falls.
When: 5:00 Next Friday, August 9th, Until: Whenever (But if you stay for Karaoke, you've stayed too long.)
Hosts: Sheldon Osborn 376-6852, Barry "The Man" Foster 728-1445, Eileen VanSoest, Diane Bryan, and Lance Moran.

A guy walks into a bar . . . .

Busy morning. Just enough time to send out a quick reminder of Drinking Liberally tonight and some jokes about " this guy who walked into a bar" which start right after our weekly statement of purpose . . .

Since progressives believe in giving everyone a shot of the good life, we do not want our name to mislead anyone. We drink conservatively from 5:00- 5:08, moderately from 5:09-5:18, and liberally from 5:19 to whenever. And, of course, as the Beer and Alcohol Companies encourage, we always drink responsibly.
Location: Shenanigan's Pub in the Empire Mall in Sioux Falls.
When: 5:00 Next Friday, July 11th, Until: Whenever (But if you stay for Karaoke, you've stayed too long.)
Hosts: Sheldon Osborn 376-6852, Barry "The Man" Foster 728-1445, Eileen VanSoest, Diane Bryan, and Lance Moran.

No one knows when the first joke beginning with a" Guy walks into a bar . . ." started, but here are a few of its successors.

A guy walks into a bar with a slab of asphalt under his arm and says, "A beer please, and one for the road."

An amnesiac walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Do I come here often?"

A guy with dyslexia walks into a bra.

A young Texan walks into a bar and orders a drink. "Got any ID?" asks the bartender. The Texan replies, "About what?"

A pair of battery jumper cables walk into a bar. The bartender says, "You can come in here, but you better not start anything!"

A Latin scholar walks into a bar and says, "I'll have a martinus." The bartender asks him. "Don't you mean martini?" The man tells the bartender, "Listen, if I wanted two or more drinks I would have asked for them."

A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "So, why the long face?"

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender, "Has my father been in here?" The bartender says, "I don't know. What does he look like?"

A brain goes into a bar and says to the bartender, "I'll have a beer, please." The bartender says, "Sorry, I can't serve you. You're out of your head."

A little pig goes into a bar and orders ten drinks. He finishes them and the bartender says, "Don't you want to know where the toilet is?" The pig says, "No, thanks, I go wee-wee-wee all the way home."

René Descartes is in a bar at closing time. The bartender asks him if he'd like another drink. Descartes says, "I think not," and he disappears.

A bear walks into a bar and says, "I'd like a beer and . . . . a packet of peanuts. The barman says, why the big pause?"

A kangaroo walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says, "That'll be $10. You know, we don't get many kangaroos coming in here." The kangaroo says, "At $10 a beer, it's not hard to understand."

A cheeseburger walks into a bar, and the bartender says, "Sorry, we don't serve food in here."

A dog with his foot wrapped in a bloody bandage hobbles into a Western saloon. He sidles up to the bar and announces: "I'm lookin' fer the man that shot my paw."

A baby seal walks into a bar. "What can I get you?" asks the bartender. "Anything but a Canadian Club," replies the seal.

A grasshopper hops into a bar. The bartender says, "You're quite a celebrity around here. We've even got a drink named after you." The grasshopper says, "You've got a drink named Steve?"

A goldfish flops into a bar and looks at the bartender. The bartender asks, "What can I get you?" The goldfish says, "Water."

A guy walks into a bar and sits down next to a lady and a dog. The man asks, "Does your dog bite?" The lady answers, "Never!" The man reaches out to pet the dog, and the dog bites his hand. The man says, "I thought you said your dog doesn't bite!" The woman replies, "He doesn't. That's not my dog."

A guy walks into a bar. A horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is just staring at the horse, when the horse says, "What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?" The guy says, "Honestly, no. I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

A skeleton walks into a bar. The bartender asks, "What'll you have?" The skeleton says, "Give me a beer, and a mop."

A polar bear, a giraffe and a penguin walk into a bar. The bartender says, "What is this, some kind of joke?"

A guy walks into a bar in Cork, in Ireland, and asks the barman: "What's the quickest way to get to Dublin?" "Are you walking or driving?" asks the barman. "Driving," says a man. "That's the quickest way," says the barman.

A fellow walks into a pub near Buckingham Palace in London, sits down, and says, "Give me a beer. I've had a rough day at work." And the bartender says, "Oh? What do you do?" The guy says, "I take care of the corgis--you know, the dogs the royal family owns." The bartender asks, "Tough job, huh? The guy says, "Yeah. All that inbreeding has led to low intelligence and bad temperaments. And the dogs aren't too smart, either."

A man goes into a bar and says, "Give me a drink before the trouble starts." And the bartender pours him a drink. He drinks it and says, "Give me another drink before the trouble starts." He downs that one and says quotation mark, give me another drink before the trouble starts." Finally, the bartender asks, "Just when is this trouble going to start?" The man says, "The trouble starts just as soon as I tell you that I don't have any money."

A tourist goes into a bar where a dog is sitting in a chair playing poker. He asks, "Is that dog there really playing poker?" And the bartender says, "Yeah, but he's not too smart. Whenever he has a good hand, he starts wagging his tail."

This cowboy walks into a bar and orders a beer. His hat is made of brown wrapping paper. And so are his shirt, vest, chaps, pants, and boots. His spurs are also made of paper. Pretty soon, the sheriff arrives and arrests him for rustling.

A guy goes into a bar, orders four shots of the most expensive 30-year-old single malt Scotch whisky and downs them one after the other. The bartender says, "You seem to be in a great hurry." The guy says, "You would be too if you had what I have." The bartender asks, "What have you got? "Fifty cents," is the reply.

A Northerner walks into a bar in the Deep South around Christmas time. A small nativity scene is behind the bar, and the guy says, "That's a nice nativity scene. But how come the three wise men are all wearing firemen's hats?" And the bartender says, "Well, it says right there in the Bible--the three wise men came from afar."

A man walked into a bar, sat down, and ordered a beer. As he sipped the beer, he heard a voice say, "Nice tie." Looking around, he saw that the bar was empty except for him and the bartender. A few sips later, another voice said, "Beautiful shirt." At this, the man calls the bartender over. "Say, I must be losing my mind," he tells him. "I keep hearing these voices say nice things, and there is not a soul in here but us." "It's the peanuts," explains the bartender, indicating a dish on the bar. "The peanuts?" "That's right, the peanuts--they're complementary."

A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. He says, "A beer for me and one for my giraffe." And they stand around drinking for hours until the giraffe passes out on the floor. The man pays the tab and gets up to leave. The bartender says, "Hey! You're not going to leave that lyin' on the floor, are you?" The man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."

A guy walks into a bar with a German shepherd dog. The bartender says, "Hey buddy, can't you read that sign? It says no dogs allowed! Get that mutt out of here!" The man replies, "No, I can't read the sign--I'm blind, and this is my Seeing Eye dog." The bartender is embarrassed and gives the man a beer on the house. Later that day, the man tells his friend about it: "I told him I was blind, and I got a free beer!" The friend then takes his dog into the bar and sits down. The bartender says, "The sign says no dogs allowed! You'll have to leave!" The friend says, "Sorry, I can't see the sign because I'm blind, and this is my Seeing Eye dog." The bartender replies, "Since when do they give out Chihuahuas as Seeing Eye dogs?" The man says, "They gave me a Chihuahua?"

A blind man walks into a bar, grabs his dog by its hind legs and swings him around in a circle. The bartender says, "Hey, buddy, what are you doing?" And the blind man says, "Don't mind me. I'm just looking around."

A man walks into a bar looking sad, and the bartender asks him, "What's the matter?" The man says, "My wife and I had a fight, and she told me she wasn't going to speak to me for a month. The month is up today."

This guy walks into a bar and orders a drink. He looks in his pocket and orders another drink, looks in his pocket and orders still another drink. His curiosity aroused, the bartender asks, "What are you doing? What's in your pocket?" And the guy says, "It's a picture of my wife. When she starts looking good to me, I know it's time to go home."