Greensboro

Since the Super Bowl is coming this weekend, I thought I'd talk about something which everyone has an opinion: the commercials. Since I grew up in the pre-Internet era, I was weaned on the Trinitron Teat (TM), so I've watched my fair share of commercials.

[Shifts to cranky old man voice]
In my day, we didn't have a mute button on the remote. When a commercial came on, we had to watch it. Heck, we didn't even have remotes. We had to WALK to the TV to change channels, and it was uphill--both ways! Now get offa my lawn!
[Shifts back to normal voice]

Ooh. Sorry 'bout that. I will NEVER be appearing that the Chuckle Hut, so your funny bones will be safe.

Back to commercials. I've seen many of Acura's new ad campaign, where they're trying to visually represent some type of idea, and it wasn't until the third one that I realized that the idea was "breakthrough". Freud would've never made THAT connection. On the other hand (shut UP Freud), I want to give kudos to Dove for their Real Beauty campaign. It's refreshing to see real people in beauty commercials, and not Hollywood models. For some reason Kellogg has decided to use thin models to push the weight-loss benefits of Special K, and these models are supposed to be the "before" models! If these models are overweight, what planet are THEY from?

Then there are some new trends I've seen in advertising--the use of swooshes in logos, and the sunny day/wet street backdrop, which I can only explain as rubbing off of CSI Miami onto the wannabe-trendy minds of advertisers. If you're wondering what swooshes I'm talking about, I'm referring to three D's--the logos for Drive Time, Direct Auto Insurance, and Duke Energy.

A third trend I've noticed is "embedding" text in a shot, complete with appropriate shadowing and reflections. When I saw it in the opening credits for the movie "Panic Room", I thought it was really cool. When I saw it used in the TV show "Fringe", I thought it was kinda cool. When I saw it mockingly used in a VW commercial, I was reminded of Cookie Monster biting off a part of the letter "C".

Advertisers remind me of SNL skits in the late 80's: they take an idea and beat it to death. I think they need a wider sampling of source material--then they might not repeat themselves so much.

I'd like to know your opinions on commercials (or politics, or monster truck racing, or mediated reality), so come on down to the Green Bean tonight at 7:30 pm. The Green Bean has its liquor license back, so we can party like it's 2009! And if you have a funny enough topical one-liner, I'll buy you a drink! (Unfunny tropical eyeliner is not accepted.--all mascara nightmares should be avoided.)

-William Moates
Chapter Co-host

P.S.: What's the difference between a whoremonger and a warmonger?

A few comments about inauguration day:

1. I love that fact that when the president reviews the troops, he just reviews the troops, not the tanks or the APCs or the Patriot missile launchers. And, whenever we have a military parade, it's just the troops, and not their equipment. A powerful country is more powerful when they don't try to show off their power.

2. I was listening to BBC last night, and they had a reporter go into a Washington bar and ask two women their opinion of Mrs. Obama's dress. The first woman said, "I can't believe you just asked me that question." The next night, I caught a glimpse of CNN's Showbiz Tonight fawning over Michelle's two inauguration dresses. What a contrast!

3. Is it me, or did this inauguration get more coverage that Bush's 2001 inauguration?

If you'd like to talk about inauguration day, the upcoming Oscars, the legalization of cannabis, the positive side of anarchy, or when a cliche becomes outdated, then come on down to the Green Bean tonight at 7:30 pm, and we'll see if they got their liquor license back. See you soon!

-William Moates
DL Chapter Co-host

A few comments about inauguration day:

1. I love that fact that when the president reviews the troops, he just reviews the troops, not the tanks or the APCs or the Patriot missile launchers. And, whenever we have a military parade, it's just the troops, and not their equipment. A powerful country is more powerful when they don't try to show off their power.

2. I was listening to BBC last night, and they had a reporter go into a Washington bar and ask two women their opinion of Mrs. Obama's dress. The first woman said, "I can't believe you just asked me that question." The next night, I caught a glimpse of CNN's Showbiz Tonight fawning over Michelle's two inauguration dresses. What a contrast!

3. Is it me, or did this inauguration get more coverage that Bush's 2001 inauguration?

If you'd like to talk about inauguration day, the upcoming Oscars, the legalization of cannabis, the positive side of anarchy, or when a cliche becomes outdated, then come on down to the Green Bean tonight at 7:30 pm, and we'll see if they got their liquor license back. See you soon!

-William Moates
DL Chapter Co-host

I want to talk about last week's "Miracle on the Hudson". Specifically, about calling it a miracle. Now, I think it involved many acts of heroism, which all should be commended. The pilot, Sully, is certainly a hero for how he flew that plane, for how carefully he landed it on the water, and how he made sure he was the last one to leave the plane. The flight crew were heroes, by managing an orderly exit from the plane, which made Sully's final check easier. All the boat crews are heroes too, because they rushed out to help, and picked up the passengers in an orderly fashion, thus minimizing the number of people who suffered hypothermia. As a result of all this heroism, no one died, and the worst injury was two broken legs.

What frustrates me is that people want to call this whole thing a miracle, instead of simply a concentration of heroic acts. When a fireman rushes into a burning building and brings out a child, is that a miracle? No, it's not. It's heroism. Did God put that fireman in the burning building? No. The fireman chose to go in. Similarly, Sully the pilot, his flight crew, and all the boat crews chose to save those passengers. By calling this event a miracle, you're labeling it an act of God (albeit a beneficial one), and taking the choice out of all those people's hands.

I would also like to point out that there are some unsung heroes, who will probably never get airtime: the designers and builders of that Airbus 320. That plane was designed so, in the event of a water landing, all the lower compartments seal, and no water can get into the plane. That system worked well enough so that several minutes after the water landing, the plane was still floating, and floating on such an even keel that the passengers could walk out on the wings to wait for rescue. Because of that successful design, we got to see the pictures of the passengers practically walking on water. That image is probably why everyone is calling it a miracle.

-William Moates

Since GW is on the tube tonight, I've decided to stay home and watch him say farewell.

-William Moates

Welcome back from the holidays!

Replacing Obama's Senate seat has sure turned into juicy political soap opera. First, the DOJ arrests Blagojevich--on his birthday--because they believe he's trying to sell Obama's seat to the highest bidder. The DOJ reads profane-laced transcripts of the recording that back their suspicion, bringing the word "bleeping" back to the airwaves with a frequency I haven't heard since a certain X-files episode (where Mulder screams like a girl and Scully is tougher than nails). After a few weeks of being hounded by the press--sorry, sleepy Chicago neighborhood--Blagojevich denies the accusations, then appoints Roland Burris to the Senate seat anyway. Now, the press is hounding Burris as he goes to Capitol Hill and tries to get the Senate to accept the appointment. In the meantime, "Bleeping" Blagojevich is out of the press's limelight, even though he's the one suspected of a crime, not Burris. So now we ask--cue organ music, please--Who Will Get Obama's Senate Seat? Will It Be Roland Burris? Or...? Tune In Tomorrow On C-SPAN To Find Out!

When it comes to Gaza, there's nothing funny to say about it. The pacifist in me says "Isn't Israel overreacting?", but the bullied kid from middle school says "If someone fires hundreds missiles into your neighborhood, how *should* you react?". It's easier to call for peace in the Middle East when you've lived your whole life in nothing but peace.

I know that USA gives a lot of attention to Israel and its problems, but it makes me ask: What does the rest of the world think? Shouldn't Europe be more invested in creating a peaceful Israel, since so many of the founders of modern Israel came from Europe? After the tragedy of the Holocaust, didn't the Allies essentially give the Jews Israel as a consolation prize? (Ok, I just Wiki'd Palestine, and see it's more complicated than that.) In any case, I have to ask Europe: What have you done to bring about peace in Palestine? Apart from Blair becoming the UN-NATO-EU-Whatever Else Envoy, what has Europe done? (And yes, I'm asking out of ignorance.)

It seems that Israel and Palestine might be more willing to listen to Londoners, who suffered under Nazi bombardment, or Germans, who suffered under Allied bombardment, or French, who survived Nazi occupation, or East Germans, who suffered under Soviet occupation.

When did we, the USA, become the experts at solving the Israeli-Palestinian conflict? I'm just wondering.

(Whew! That was a load!)

If you can help me puzzle this out, or tell me why ABC canceled Pushing Daisies, or explain how Disney started peddling Adam Sandler to kids, or how news agencies can soft-pedal Scientology without vomiting, then come on down to the Green Bean tonight at 7:30 pm, and join me in discussing a wide variety of topics.

And who names their kid Skeeter?

-William Moates
Chapter co-host