Laughing Liberally Morristown Chapter Blog

For those of you who were able to make it through Louisiana Governor Bobby Jindal’s entire rebuttal to President Obama’s flawless (any other kind from this guy) speech last nite, my sympathies. Now, I only managed to endure a nanosecond of story time with little Bobby and even that was more that what mind five and older can endure. He sounded like an episode of lamb chops and looked like a hall monitor in his daddy's suit.

The Republicans probably figured that because the movie “Slumdog Millionaire” was such a collosal hit at the box office and at last sunday's academy awards, Jindal who is of an Indian background would also have definitely been a “box office draw” and the “winner” of the evening, and they couldn’t lose. Well, it turns out they put all their money on Frost/Nixon. Jindal's sub par oratory clearly demonstarted that he is one big futile attempt on the republicans part to exploit identity politics so as to find a nominee ethnic enough to compete with Obama in 2012. And being Indian is basically black by Republican standards.

The knee-jerk, desperate thinking of the GOP never ceases to amaze. I mean, they tried this with Sarah Palin in the hopes that her uterus– a hyperactive one– would put her on par with Hillary Clinton and thus bring in all of her supporters. If you haven’t been living under a barack the past 3 months, you will see that the strategy failed miserably.

It seems as though the Republican party will be a lost cause for at least a decade, perhaps much longer.
While the notion of a GOP that’s deader than its members brings me a outpouring of ebullience and elation only rivaled by a premium lapdance, I firmly believe in divided government and the free exchange of intelligent and reasonable ideas among different parties. I tend to think that the impuissance of the Republican party will be great for a few years, I fear it may eventually lead to gross excesses by the Democrats. It is in this prediction why it is so important for the emergence of a viable third party that goes beyond making a few speeches and longshot presidential runs.

In the meantime, I look forward to watching the current Republican party shoot itself in the foot until its left with a stub.

Despite stiff opposition (or is it opposition from stiffs) from Senate and House Republicans, the $787bn stimulus package passed and was just signed by President Obama (love writing that) earlier today. Now, the entire GOP vehemently opposed this package on grounds that it was loaded with unnecessary spending on pet projects, resulting in many changes to accommodate them. I will readily admit that there were some expensive and unnecessary spending provisions in the original bill. But I would be criminally insane to believe republicans posturing when they ordered vast amounts of spending on pork back in 2005.

With a little research and a lot of red bull, I was able to find some unrelated details on then House majority leader Tom Delay and his fellow Republicans history of diverting federal monies to ridiculous special projects in order to ensure re-election.

$25,000 to study Mariachi music in Nevada (To be fair, Mariachi is known to improve a golf swing.)

$1.5 million for an Alaskan bus stop with heated sidewalks and electronic signs(To pick up a guy and his caribou?)

$75,000 set aside for the Paper Industry International Hall of Fame in Appleton, Wisconsin( that's 75,000 dollars for something that ulitmtaely winds up in Dick Cheney's shredder.)

$100,000 for a film festival in Rochester, New York.(Since when does a Republican appropriate money for something of aesthetic value?)

$50 million for an indoor rainforest in Iowa.(I guess they figured "we already slashed the original one..." )

$18,000 for a smoking booth at a private New Jersey airport.(Okay, this one actually makes sense [insert smoker's cough].)

$200,000 for a peanut festival in Alabama.(for all those herds of elephants in Alabama, perhaps?)

$200 million to build a bridge from Ketchikan, Alaska to a nearby island with 50 inhabitants better known as "the bridge to nowhere".(Apparently, constructing a bridge that connects RNC Headquarters to the Cayman Islands proved to be too costly.)

Despite the fact that the democratic planet or “reality town” were collectively glossing over the historic Obama win and partying like it were 1992, many pockets or “regional tumors of the south couldn’t locate a brain cell in their socially backward, clodhopping, cleft-lip minds to acknowledge the sheer enormity of the Obama win.

And why should they?

The only significant change in the south between now and 50 years ago is newer and shiner belt buckles, which is there way of expressing their opinions.

While it is easy to blame these paste-eating numbskulls for their ignorant ways, I would be amiss if I didn’t place the blame on the far-right demagogues of talk radio. Exceptionally odious cretins such as Rush Limbaugh ,“the most impotent an in America,” Mike Savage and Sean Hannity spew more bile than an infected ass pimple. Although not expressively or openly making racist comments or fomenting violence, their totally baseless fear-mongering indirectly contributes to this irrational way of thinking.

Let’s face it, Talk Radio educates like Fox News informs.

Moreover, Hannity and company reaffirm and perpetuate the narrow-minded parochialness of themselves, which in turn coincides neatly with their remarkably uneducated and miserably uniformed listeners.

The fact that reports of nooses and burning crosses are running rampant in the news suggests a couple of things. First, it appears as though the cost of gasoline has really gone down. Second, it appears as though Michael Richards is the GOP heir apparent.

In short, it looks like crass cynicism will never concede to hope and progress. Perhaps it is time we give the South the boner it has been seeking for centuries and let it secede, so long as it takes Texas with it and gives us Florida for Spring break.

Here's a very witty and poignant video that just came to be from my cousin who works for the Children's Defense Fund. Apparently my cousin brought this little sweetie to wall street and shot entirely on location... no green screen or stock footage! Mawkish and sickeningly cutesy though it may be, this kid can read better than Palin on speed, and is more eloquent and articulate than the democratic and republican party put together. Watch for yourself!

Now, I usually scoff whenever I see or read about a left-leaning first-rate actors pretending to pontificate on the abstruse, byzantine issues simply because I positively adore their profound work. But whenever I see or read about an abysmal second rate actor with conservative leanings really pretending to pontificate on the abstruse, byzantine issues, my soul, brain,and heart all seem to want to collide with my taint. At the risk of dignifying a response to a man with nil credibility, if Norris was so au courant on what the soldiers want he would know that they are donating 6 to 1 in favor of Obama. That is all I will and can say in response to the guy who hawks exercise equipment at 3 am every nite. In fact, I am pretty sure that The Home Gym endorses Obama. In short, watching this man speak is like watching a really bad Chuck Norris movie.

Realizing that he clearly cannot win on the issues, the McCain camp recently engaged in a rather unique brand of character assassination when it likened Barack Obama to Britney Spears and Paris Hilton in a recent attack ad. Now, I get that he jettisoned any effort to keep the public discourse substantive a long time ago; hence, the reason why he has only attacked Obama and not articulated his own positions . . . but I don't think creating an ad (poorly) that compares the democratic presidential candidate to a washed-up, perpetually pregnant retard is the best energy plan. Stay tuned next week to hear McCain's position on healthcare when he releases an ad comparing the Illinois to Hannah Montana.

Just because Mr. Obama exhibits extraordinary and superior linguistic skills while John McCain sounds like a toy soldier with the batteries dying doesn't mean that you can't call him out on other things. We get it: he's an electrifying speaker!! Now tell me again why he's a stealth Muslim??

I am happy to report an extremely successful and solid lab at Danny's Pub in Morristown, NJ. We had a very enthusiastic, supportive and eclectic crowd of organizers, activists, bloggers, and Tom Wyka (Tom Wyka is a Democratic candidate in the 2008 congressional elections for the 11th Congressional District US Congress)--amounting to total of thirty-plus.

We had a very smart and talented group of comics that kept the two and a half hour show alive with their lively pontifications, including an amazing 20 min set from Nasry Malik of CNN and Comedy Central. Plugging all the relevant Living Liberally activities and keeping exuberance high with the telling of anecdotes, Kevin O' Driscoll did an excellent job as host! The highlight of the evening, however, was putting up a very special political guest in Joey Novick. Joey is an attorney, professional stand-up comedian, professional keynote speaker, and a former elected official in NJ. He resides in Flemington, New Jersey, where currently serves as the
as the Chairman of the Flemington Democratic Party

Stay Tuned for Future Labs!

Turn Left to Pennsylvania Ave, our first feature film featuring Laughing Liberally Comedians, just got accepted and nominated into the 2008 AOF Film Festival in LA! A Special thanks to Justin Krebs and the staff at The Tank for allowing us to shoot there.

Understanding nonetheless appreciating satire in a country that awards big money to the dude kicked in the crotch the hardest by his overactive ADHD kid and kudos is awarded to the douche that put it up on you tube is a total pipedream.

(They want to put islam into your children's drinking water)

Remember Bitter?

Indeed, Obama was relentlessly excoriated by McCain and Hillary for explaining this voting phenomenon. But since Obama dispatched Clinton, he has seemed rather more attuned to what the people want to hear or perhaps he has simply traded the wants of a liberal audience for those of a more moderate one. Either way, he is treading that reliably time-worn path every nominee follows to the political center. Barack knows that his leftist rhetoric during the primaries--no flag pins, opposing guns, etc.--doesn't stand a chance in the general election. Thus, he's now in an all out race to pacify disaffected republicans as well as blue dog, working class, lunch bucket Dems by moving towards the center (i.e., pandering to AIPAC, tacitly supporting supreme courts 5-4 decision on gun ownership, and reversing stance on death penalty).

In brief, he's a politician running for president. I just "hope" that he issues the New Yorker an apology after winning. Regardless of their beliefs, the New Yorker just raised the bar by lowering it.

A constant theme in today’s increasingly volatile body politic is that we are not supposed to care what celebrities think about politics. I couldn’t agree anymore. However, we are to care even less when the Hollywood type in question doesn’t even qualify as key grip worthiness.

Steven Baldwin, the Neil Bush of the Baldwins, vowed on Fox News that he will leave the United States if Sen. Barack Obama wins the election. (Baldwin supports McCain). I know it must be difficult to fathom parting with the promethean actor who lifted our spirits, challenged our thinking, and made us ponder our own metaphysical well-being in these jaw-dropping, memorable classics...

(In case you were completely lost in the intricate plot weaved ever-so insidiously in The First Flintstones Movie starring John Goodman)

(Much like the genealogical makeup of his family, Steven is shitty, leftover sequels.)

So now the question for his fan is to which country do we send this acting legend? Well, I here Iran simply loves crazy, right-wing religious zealots, assuming they still haven’t gotten Viva Rock Vegas on DVD yet.

Any suggestions on where to send the Lawrence Olivier of our times?