Drinking Liberally: Is For The Birds

Greetings all my Ford and Peregrin Falcons,

As I see it, there are two kinds of seagulls. Actually, to be more accurate, there is one kind of seagull: the just-a-tad-too-cocky-to-be-so-filthy surfbird. But among seagulls, there are two distinct philosophies.

Gull Philosophy the First: Coastal Bliss
This is the mindset of the true beach-living gull, in which the bird leaves things to nature for survival. Theirs is a life ruled by natural rhythms. The tides. Day and night. Moon cycles. The comings and goings of brine shrimp. Off sea breezes. Sand dune thermals. And the like-clockwork delivery of dead, smelly things washed up on shore.

Beach-living gulls, much like beach-living people, place an amazing amount of trust in the natural order of the world to provide for them. The fact that this works, and works so well, is inspiring.

Gull Philosophy the Second: Walmart Consumptionism
Here we find the parking lot gull. This is a seagull that has somehow lost its way and migrated hundreds of miles inland. Instead of long strips of sandy white beaches, the parking lot gull makes its home on the blacktop acreage of suburban strip mall parking. For survival, the lot gull depends on our excess. Cold McDonalds french fries. Spit out gum. Hardee’s cheese paper. Wafting tractor trailer exhaust thermals. And the ever-present discarded baby diaper.

These lot loungers have totally bought into the idea that the private sector can meet their needs. And, yeah, it works. It works scary good. These birds are bloated with food. They have no want, but they eat and eat and eat some more until they end up sticking to the ground, rarely finding a need to fly. These seagulls have lost sight of good living.

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So here we stand watching the gulls. Taking note of the mindless way they land on the side of natural or constructed systems. Organic governing or privatized gullcare. But, while their birdbrains don’t get much of a choice, ours do. So let’s sit for a while and decide whether we want a life of self-discovered balance, or one of marketed survival. I, for one, feel pulled by the tides of coastal bliss.

We can peck it all out tonight at Drinking Liberally at The Green Bean on S. Elm St. at 7:00.

Flock over,

Ritchie Rozzelle
Chapter Host
Drinking Liberally
Greensboro, NC