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Mocking Fox News...While On Fox News

Laughing Liberally To Keep From Crying

One of our beloved Laughing Liberally regulars, Lee Camp, had the golden opportunity this weekend to tell us what he thinks about Fox News...while on Fox News.

After having performed for both Yearly Kos's and for the Young Democrats of America, it's nice to know that Fox News got to meet the same gentlemen us liberals know and love - as did Dan Abrams. Congrats, Lee!

Mitt Romney Quits Race to Spend More Time With His Wives



And you think ONE wife is time-consuming. Just kidding. This is not an anti-Mormon post. Some of my best friends are Mormon. But if Mitt can dish it out, he should be able to take it. By it, I mean, of course, intolerance. In other words, I don't care what religion he is. But I do care that Mitt has said he wouldn't have Muslims in his cabinet. The Mormon's were, indeed persecuted. But if Mitt's sensitivity and acceptance in restricted to Mormonism, it's hard for me to feel sorry for him. Mitt's religious-tolerance preaching and JFK comparing is opportunistic, in light of his less than tolerant stance on Muslims and atheists. It's as hypocritical as, let's say, preaching immigration tolerance, while at the same time advancing immigrant-intolerant speech and policies. If that sounds familiar, it is. During the Republican debates-- sorry, during the Florida, Youtube, debates, Mitt slammed Giuliani for being the mayor of a sanctuary city, and bragged about his own 0 tolerance for "aliens" stance

If you're here illegally, you should not be here. We're not going to give you benefits, other than those required by the law, like healthcare and education, and that's the course we're going to have to pursue.

When Rudy shot back that New York's "sanctuary city" didn't hold a candle to Mitt's "sanctuary mansion," which was maintained by Mexican gardeners and lawnmowers, the Governor reverted to his Bostonian alter ego, delivering a multi-culti, celebrate-diversity, envision-world-peace diatribe vindicating his tired, his poor, his huddled landscapers.

Are you suggesting, Mr. Mayor--because I think it's really kind of offensive, actually, to suggest--to say, look, you know what, if you're a homeowner and you hire a company to come provide a service at your home--paint the home, put on the roof--if you hear someone that's working out there... if you hear someone with a funny accent, you, as a homeowner, are supposed to go out there and say, "I want to see your papers." Is that what you're suggesting? That you now are responsible for going out and checking the employees of that company, particularly those that might look different or don't have an accent like yours, and ask for their papers? I don't think that's American, number one. Number two--

But then, much to the releif of all God/ immigration-fearing people, Mitt, without skipping a beat (well, OK a few beats, during which Anderson Cooper reminded The Governor, in vain, "We got to move on"), Mitt continued his enumeration of good deeds against bad aliens.

Let me tell you what I did as governor. I said no to driver's licenses for illegals. I said, number two, we're going to make sure that those that come here don't get a tuition break in our schools, which I disagree with other folks on that one. Number three, I applied to have our state police enforce the immigration laws in May, seven months before I was out of office. It took the federal government a long time to get the approvals, and we enforced the law. And Massachusetts is not a sanctuary state, and the policies of the mayor of pursuing a sanctuary nation or pursuing a sanctuary city--

So I apologize for making fun of Mormonism, which no longer permits polygamy. And their whole racist things is so 1970s; in 1978, after a vision from God (and pressure from the IRS), the Church of Latter Day Saints lifted their ban against Black priests. I am going to miss watching Mitt preach religous tolerance (for Mormons only) and practice intolerance towards atheists, Muslims, gay people, and immigrants. But, as a great man, prophet and failed presidential candidate once said, "I felt like I had to say something because I simply cannot let my[self] be a part of aiding a surrender to [hypocritical and sanctimonious] terror."

Happy Trent Lott Appreciation Day! But one day a year is not enough!

As if we don't already know, today is Trent Lott Appreciation Day. While this is a great step forward for mankind, Lott, featured above rocking his signature hip hop dance move, deserves so much more than one day of Appreciation. Because Lott is so much more than a mere mortal and senator. Did you know he was also

  1. a misunderstood STD: Of course Lott is an STD (Strom Thurman-defending); and outspoken segregationist. But Trent is no racist, and is as opposed to racism and Strom Thurman was opposed to miscegenation. He is actually color blind. Lamenting the Sunni/Shiite hoopla, Lott said: "It's hard for Americans, all of us, including me, to understand what's wrong with these people. Why do they hate each other? Why do Sunnis kill Shiites? How do they tell the difference? They all look the same to me." See! Like Steven Colbert, Lott doesn't even see color, or ethnicity!
  2. a salt of the earth working man One of the many exploited workers in Washington D.C., and part of the great Capitol Hill to K street migration, Lott recently left politics in search of a better life and a living wage as a lobbyist. Luckily, and purely coincidentally, by stepping down before the end of the year, Lott avoided a law, that was about to come into effect, requiring that senators wait two years after retiring before they start lobbying their former colleagues.
  3. a martyr: as if the abject poverty faced by senators weren't enough, Trent's economic woes were only worsened by Hurricane Katrina. Nobody felt Trent's pain more than the President himself, seen here either trying to hold back tears or looking at a pretty molding on the ceiling, who said:
    The good news is -- and it's hard for some to see it now -- that out of this chaos is going to come a fantastic Gulf Coast, like it was before. Out of the rubbles of Trent Lott's house -- he's lost his entire house -- there's going to be a fantastic house. And I'm looking forward to sitting on the porch

    Nothing represents the tragedy of Katrina, and nothing resonates with the victims of Katrina, more than when an STD (Strom Thurman-defending), and segregationist senator loses his second home.

Which is way I anoint today, not only Trent Lott Appreciation Day, but Trent Lott Community Service Day. Because we must, and can help Trent. Which is why I'm starting the Trent Lott Porch Reconstruction Fund. Together, we will rebuild that porch, stone by stone, brick by brick. And we won't stop until that wrap around Victorian porch is standing once again. Because a man's second home's porch is his castle.

Most of all, I look forward to a day when we won't even need to have a "Trent Lott Appreciation Day." Because everyday, should, and will, be "Trent Lott Appreciation Day."

Romney and McCain Accuse Each Other of Having Hearts

McCain and Romney were in Florida, going on the pilgrimage to the sacred site where Bush stole the election in 2000. (All Republicans must make this visit at least once during their lives.)While in Florida, Romney and McCain also participated in a Republican debate and their own debate over who was a better conservative, as each one tried to prove that the other one was more "liberal," a better person and had functioning heart.

Iraq: Come For The Liberation, Stay For The Souvenirs

I, for one, am THRILLED to learn that though the invasion of Iraq has been a humanitarian, geo-political, economic, death and ethnic cleansing-triggering disaster, these sacrifices were not in vain. Because, although we were not greeted with roses as liberators, at least we can rest assured that the people who started the war got something out of it. No, I'm not referring to no bid contracts for Halliburton and Chevron, silly. That's hardly breaking news! I'm talking about something even better! TOTALLY AWESOME SOUVENIRS for Bush and Cheney. These are the types of souvenirs that literally have Bush and Cheney's names on them. If I didn't know better I'd think they were custom made! It turns out The moribund Vice- President keeps a piece of the house where Abu Musab al Zarqawi died on display in his house. I can only assume this piece complements Cheney's already lovely collection of architectural details of the dead, which Lyn proudly displays on the family mantle. And our cow-boots wearing, tough talking* Commander in Chief has his own "wish you were here" souvenir: a pistol U.S.soldiers pulled out of Saddam Hussein's hands, when he was liberated from his spider hole, a perfect addition to Bush's growing cowboy dress-up collection, which no longer fits in the Lincoln Bedroom.

.

Laughing Liberally To Keep From Crying: WWJD?

In the Christmas spirit...

The right-wing candidates might be asking "What Would Jesus Do?" But is this really the answer?

Courtesy of comedian Lee Camp

Happy holidays.

Bush Calls 'Em Out

Bush: Iran Must Explain Hidden Nuclear Weapons Program [Source: VOA]
(You read that headline right.)
Today is tuesday, so it's time for Bush's weekly list of impossible demands. They also included:

Namibia Must Explain Invisible Village-Terrorizing Dragons
Evil Must Disassemble Nonexistent Soul-Sucking Machine
Smurfs Must Explain Toxic Waste Producing Mythical Village
North Korea Must Stop Imaginary Tidal Wave
Fred Astaire's Clubbed Foot Must Postpone Ragnorok
Democrats Must Explain Strategy

Bush Calls 'Em Out

Bush: Iran Must Explain Hidden Nuclear Weapons Program
(You read that headline right.)
Today is tuesday, so it's time for Bush's weekly list of impossible demands. They also included:

Namibia Must Explain Invisible Village-Terrorizing Dragons
Evil Must Disassemble Nonexistent Soul-Sucking Machine
Smurfs Must Explain Toxic Waste Producing Mythical Village
North Korea Must Stop Imaginary Tidal Wave
Fred Astaire's Clubbed Foot Must Postpone Ragnorok
Democrats Must Explain Strategy

Laughing Liberally To Keep From Crying: The Predatory Lending Association

by Justin Krebs

Usually, Laughing Liberally posts feature original content from our network of comedians and writers.  But recently a topic crossed our radar so funny that it deserved special attention:  Predatory Lending.

Specifically, the Predatory Lending Association -- a website promoting resources:

...dedicated to extracting maximum profit from the working poor by increasing payday loan fees and debt traps. The working poor are an exciting, fast growing demographic that includes: military personnel, minorities, and most of the middle class.

The clean and friendly site, complete with Google map tools and little sidebar calculators looks so earnest that it takes a minute to realize who they are representing...or, rather, satirizing.  For example, their slick-looking map application actually features a "poor finder"...a presumably essential resource for any predator.

This site is a great example of the role of humor in political discourse.  It's actually informative:  their "Industry Threats" page talks more about real efforts to curb predatory lending practices that I generally hear about.  And it's entertaining -- I want to keep reading to see what I'll find beyond their "Military Loan Crisis" link, and just how far these guys will go with their discussion of the "Myth vs. Reality" of their industry.

It's a site that will leave people informed and outraged...and will make them laugh along the way...which as Stewart and Colbert keep proving is a great way to get your message across.

Laughing Liberally To Keep From Crying: (Not So) Funny Business

by Justin Krebs

Instead of a joke or a video today, Laughing Liberally wants to share a true story that's a little sad at first and then a little happy.

Comedians are always looking for breaks.  Part of why Laughing Liberally formed was to give comedians a forum for smart, political humor that was often frowned upon in comedy clubs.  So, you'd think we'd be overjoyed by this invitation from ABC News

ABC News Research Team has discovered your website and we wanted to extend this exciting opportunity to you.

...

Send us your VIDEO joke because we're going to take the best submissions and air them on Sunday, November 18th as part of This Week's 'Funnies'.

A chance for national exposure...so why aren't our comedians laughing with joy?  Because of the part of the message from ABC I left out:

The Writers strike has forced most of the late night comedy shows into re-runs. But that doesn't mean the political humor has to stop- You be the comedian!

We at This Week are looking for YOU to help fill the void!

"The void" = "The workforce." In short, they wanted us to become scabs.

I was indecisive:  We're not in the business of strike-breaking.  But I also wanted all of the hard-working comedians who rarely get the shot they deserve to make their own decision, and so we forward the message to them.

And the comedians of Laughing Liberally refused.  Baratunde Thurston sent back the guild rules he chose to respect.  Lee Camp sarcastically suggested it was a great opportunity for someone who didn't want a career in writing.  And as Katie Halper commented:

Isn't this clearly scabbing? Am not being sarastic here, but is there anything I don't know about the strike that would make this anything but scabbing? Of course i love publicity, but we are laughing liberally, not scabbily.

The writers' strike is an important fight, as Jane Hamsher and Matt Stoller have both noted.  We on the Left need to pay attention to it:  to talk about the excesses of corporatocracy, about the rules and roles of new media...and about the respect you give professionals who strike.

You don't cross the picket line.

As Living Liberally's Josh Bolotsky noted:  "Laughing Conservatively wouldn't face this kind of moral dilemma."

PS:  ABC wrote to us from the email account: talkback@abcnews.go.com.  So we talked back.  I'm sure they'd love to hear from you too.