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Is Barack Obama Jewish? Shocking new evidence!

by Lee Camp, Laughing Liberally

IS BARACK OBAMA A JEW??? It's the internet rumor that the Obama campaign has been unable to quash (because we just started it). Recent photos of Senator Obama wearing traditional Jewish garb have raised a lot of questions about the candidate's religious background. Most obvious, of course, is the Jewish device pictured on Obama's head. This item is called a "yarmulke" (pronounced: Jew-ma-ka). However, there are many other pieces of evidence in the photograph that suggest Obama is "of the tribe," as the Jews say when they're alone in their secret caves.

1. Yarmulke

2. Master Jew in close proximity to Barack Obama. Only fellow Jews are allowed near Master Jews. (Or this might just be Obama's accountant.)

3. Secret Jew message placed in crevice of Jewian monument. These messages are how the Jewish people secretly communicate with each other. (You know who else makes use of secret communications? Nazis. Also, warlocks.)


4. Senator Obama's first name is "Barack," which is a Jewy name. In fact, Israel's former Prime Minister is named Ehud Barak. Furthermore, the word "baruch" is the first word in most Jewish prayers (or curses). Loosely translated "baruch" means "death to non-Jews."

5. Obama attended a Jewian socialist elementary school, or "kibbutz," once when he was ten. He claims he only needed to use their restroom, but witnesses say he stayed for nearly three hours.

6. Although he grew up relatively poor, Senator Obama's recent book earned him upwards of $100 million. You know who else has a lot of money? Jews.

7. The name "Obama" sounds similar to "Ahabah," and Beth Ahabah is a common name for a synagogue. Synagogues are where the Jews hold their cult-like ceremonies including genital mutilation on babies.

And perhaps most damning of all...when you vandalize a photo of Barack Obama by drawing peyos and a black hat, he looks totally Jewish.

In the face of this shocking evidence, voters must decide how they really feel about Senator Baruch Ahabah. Would a God-hating money-grubbing Jew make for a good president? Let us answer that with two words: Jew Lieberman.

Screening Liberally Watch of the Day

Nas and Color of Change make a special delivery to racist Fox News.

Blogging Liberally: Hey you!

Obama is a giant monster! Run!

1. Turns out the Pentagon made Obama cancel his troop visit.

2. Apparently, the RNC hasn't been watching the news lately.

925 Days, 01 Hours, 07 Min, 00 Sec.

Funny, I seem to remember him being there earlier this week.

3. All the President's Scandals, in colorful chart form!

4. Sounds like Nick Sarkozy has a mancrush on his pal Obama.

5. Net Neutrality gets the backing of every major senate democratic challenger.

6. Vote and Die. Does it still count?

7. Home sales drop, foreclosures rise, Bush sucks.

8. The media is still in love with McCain.

Netroots Nation 2008: Caucus Refugee with Katie Halper

In case you don't believe Chris O'Reilly's claim that the Netroots Nation is like a "Klan gathering" and as hateful as the Nazis, check out this video I'm in. Five Steps Forward Media and I expose the Nazism! Why are they so hateful towards me and my people? You'll notice there is no Gypsy Caucus either, a group the Nazis tried to exterminate. What say you? Coincidence? I think not!

College Should Be Free

Perhaps it would be more accurate to say that college must be free. Being myself enrolled in a college where I watch my tuition rocket ever skyward each year, I to was taken aback by this idea. College should be free? What is this, some sort of wing-nut radical utopian pipe dream? Please people, this is not Scandinavia.

Then I realized that this idea is no more radical than the assertion in the 1850s that elementary school should be free to everyone, or half a century later when reformers said that high school should not only be a luxury for the rich. America has a long history of fighting for publicly funded schooling against many who wanted to keep it private.

With each new age of American society it became clear that publicly funded education was an absolute necessity. First elementary, then high school, and now a college education are an absolute must to function in the American economy. For young people entering the market today, wages have fallen in every category since 1970, for people who have schooling less than a BA. Even for most people with a BA wages have only slightly risen or remained the same as their 1970 levels. We young people will be the first generation to end up less well off then our parents’ generation. Today a college education is as much a necessity as is clean drinking water.

In every discussion of falling wages, outsourcing, and immigrant labor the conclusion always seems to be that America has to build a modern workforce prepared to take on the task of a modern economy. The only way for this to truly happen is for college to be free. Moving from a system of dept based financial aid back to providing federal academic grant is a good short-term solution, and decent first step. It is also true that our K-12 schooling systems are riddled with problems, that some might say need to be addressed first. But we cannot get bogged down in fighting for small change; we must set our sights higher than simply tackling imbecilic legislation like No Child Left Behind.

What this nation needs to succeed is a publicly funded Higher Education, anything short of that will not cut it in the long term. In the face of a faltering economy one might nervously ask where this sort of money will come from, but there is no better time. When there are not jobs to be had people go back to school, retrain, and restart. This is not to say that where should not be private universities, but if College is a necessity, it should not be something that you have to afford. We do not need to make college affordable, we need to make it available.

What I've Heard About...because you only really listen to what your friends recommend

1. Order of Myths (from the Sundance Film Festival) opens Friday, July 25 at IFC in New York.

other screenings in other places

2. Bamcinemateck Animation Weekend is Here

3. Wall-E still rocking.

4. The new X-Files film opens tomorrow. Like the Simpson’s movie, you don’t have to have to be updated on the TV show to enjoy/understand the film.

5. More Animation at the Rooftop Film Fest on Friday. Short films plus beforehand listen to music and hang out at the block party. After the films head over to the free open bar after at Matchless. $9 for the show though.

6. A Parade of Pink Elephants

Disney took a cue from Dali and slipped a surrealist montage into Dumbo

Dali exhibit is up at the MOMA. Fantasia and a surrealism-inspired short is playing at the MOMA tomorrow, Friday, July 25, 2pm. If you miss it, you can still catch Dali’s 1929 film Un Chien Andalou. Don’t miss the beginning - the famous shot happens in the first minute of the film.

The MOMA is doing a month-long tribute to the Coen Brothers. All their great films, except unfortunately O Brother Where Art Thou .

Recommendations: Blood Simple, Raising Arizona, Miller’s Crossing, Fargo, The Big Lebowski, and of course, No Country For Old Men.

Screening Liberally Watch of the Day

Rep. Patrick Murphy (D-PA) with the takedown on Don't Ask, Don't Tell. As Congress's lone Iraq veteran, Murphy is disgusted by the bigoted and demeaning idea that openly gay soldiers would detract from unit cohesion. Do these people really think that our troops are not professional enough to work together?

Adam B from Daily Kos gives us the facts:

  • Nearly 800 specialists with critical skills have been fired from the military under DADT, including several linguists who speak Arabic.
  • U.S. taxpayers have paid $250 million to investigate and root out patriotic servicemen and women under DADT and as much as $1.2 billion in lost recruiting and training costs.
  • More than two-thirds of civilians support allowing gays to serve openly in the military. And despite the fear-mongering about unit morale, nearly 3 in 4 troops say they are personally comfortable serving side-by-side with gays and lesbians.

The Daily Digest: Drunk on Politics

1) Does John McCain know anything about Iraq? Trying to recover, he digs himself deeper.

2)Video games that kill real people.

3)Guess who is using up all our oil? The Pentagon.

4)Even truckers don't want more oil. When labor and Environment meet.

5)Multi-platinum rapper NAS gives Fox News a talking to. And Colbert too.

6)American Foriegn Service workers banned from Obama Rally.

7)Soldiers keep shooting democracies children. an Iraqi Governer's son is killed.

8)Better Democrats?